Hey, cicadas? You and I need to have a talk. I am in a state targeted by you guys and I have questions. First off, why can't you go to the west? There's lots of trees there, too, so why are you crowding over here? Second, why are you not in South Carolina? It just seems weird that you're all around it and not in the state itself. Please just go somewhere else because I already have pollen to deal with, and I think we'll be fine.